is Love "Overrated?" or is it just us, girls need to settle down "Just-Because?"

It’s been a minute and I want to tell you a story of a feeling of my own in my visual diary.

Being a girl is hard, Being a woman.. well, that’s a different story. Day by day it feels like more weight is being put on your shoulder, never gets easier. It’s wedding season, and I was asked to accompany my mom to be her +1 where I unintentionally met some of old faces and that’s when my mom saw that I look utterly have lack of confidence, and truth be told - that’s the truth.

It’s not fair how us, as woman, feels like being constantly judged by our surrounding, being 28 - not married, and not having any partner yet. The world feels like crumbling down to me and universe has been punishing me for the past 5 years. Feeling and believing that true love will eventually come around - only being fooled once again after I broke someone’s heart that I was uncertain with before.

Feelings, it’s funny isn’t it? As a woman, you can only wait. I’m not the type of the present feminist who would try to get someone’s attention or make the first move; as I still believe that if we make the first move, man will disrespect us (Especially living in SEA country).

I’ve fallen in love with someone compassionate, someone who shares the same hobbies - at least some of it, someone who would make me laugh non-stop, but on the other hand; unable to give me certainty about the future, which breaks me.

Tell me why universe, why can’t I be with someone who I think is compatible with me? Am I not pretty enough, not smart enough, not feminine enough? Am I too independent? Too boy-ish? Too caring?

Tonight I cried my eyes out as I’m writing this cause I’ve been showing some interests to people who I thought would be “compatible,” but they never felt the same way. I always hear the whispers of “Break up now, you’ll find someone better, I promise.” 5 years later, look where am I now. Dreading words, forced feelings only to be stuck with someone financially stable yet 0 connections.

Is it really too much to ask?