Human Beings.

There comes a time when we all are just so tired and exhausted during this pandemic. You have the hope that things will go back to normal at least by the end of the year or beginning of next year. Looking at the news, day by day, it seems that Covid-19 is not getting any better.

The increased number of deaths, The feeling of hopeless-ness turn into a blur. Is this really happening? Is this what it’s going to be? I for one - feel helpless. Every day I dreamed about the good ol’days, only to be awaken by the start of the day - except, it’s not a nightmare - it’s real.

Every day, I face the day with empty feeling - lost in words. My heart’s screaming for help, when will this end? When am I going to be found again when there’s no road map being given? I remember all the good days all too well. I remember all of the happiness and joy that I got out of love.

Time flies and every day one by one started to be gone. It seems that all I found at least right now - it’s all temporary. The relationships between one, two, ten people that we build since the old days seem to be gone in a blink of an eye because people quickly forget.

My dad once told me, let it be - human beings are created to be ‘individual.’ It’s a shame, isn’t it? How we trusted some people and we assume things will last forever - turns out it’s not. Nothing’s wrong, it’s just that human beings get bored easily and decided to toss away the things or relationships that they think don’t benefit them at all. It’s a shame, it truly is.

Nowadays I’ve become a new person - where I keep everything inside and not letting it out. I’ve become a new person who’d like to disappear in her thoughts and decided to live selfishly a little because she’s been living selflessly for a long time.

I’m tired to always be the last choice, when will I ever find the sincere ones?